Difference between Intellectual understanding and experiencial understanding

Wow!!! This is a record that I am writing a second post in a day. And I chose it this way, because the topic is a bit different and I did not want to mix the two, although they are similar in nature.

Last weekend I have been preparing for my teaching of Jain religious class . Where in I read that 'intellectually we may understand some thing, but to really know what it is, we need to experience it'. That made me think. After a lot of mulling over, I realized the truthness of the statement. I have always been saying that until one becomes father or at least feels like a father, after seeing his child, one does not 'really' know what it is to be a father. Although one may 'intellectually' understand what it may be like being a father.

This is actually true for most things in life. And different cultures, societies and human experience have said the same thing in different ways. Like the saying in English 'Put yourself in that man's shoes and then find out how he feels'. That's why Mahatma Gandhi favorite hymn was 'Vaishnav jan to taine kahiye, je peed parai jaane re' (means A really religious [pious] person is the one who knows the pain of others).

Hence I have resolved that before giving my opinion or judgements on other person's condition or their actions in a certain situation, I really need to know, what they have gone through. And a certain feelings and aspects of life I would never 'really' know; like being a Mother, Woman, Sister, White Man, Black Man, Mongoloid person or so many other identities people carry. Being a secular person, I must respect all those and accept their uniqueness whole heartedly without judging or evaluating.

'I am responsible for my own world'

What is present for me these days is that we create our own world and live in it. And this world is specifically unique to us and is not necessarily shared with others always.

Well simply it can be explained by saying that what I like, other may hate it. So that thing will be dear to me and if I get it I will be happy. But if the other who dislikes it, gets it, he or she will feel sad or angry. So that thing is 'good' for me but 'bad' for the other. So what is it really. Well as the old Indian saying goes "Sansar Maya hai" the world is but an illusion.

So I have really learnt that in reality the world as it occurs to me is pretty unique to me and its creator is I and only I and no one else. Similarly it is true for each and every individual. Every single person's world is as it occurs to them and it happens based on their thinking to what ever is happening around them, they give it either a 'good' or a 'bad' or a 'neutral' meaning and then the 'world' seems to them like that meaning. Hence they are creator of their 'own world'.

So I have decided that with this learning, I will always endeavor to be HAPPY, always give every thing a 'good' meaning. Completely believe that 'All is well' and 'whatever happens, happens for good'.

With LOVE you can WIN one and all

Today the concept in the TITLE has been reinforced in me by my dear wife. Today Feb 14th is the day of LOVE as is practiced in modern times. During breakfast we were just glancing at the TV in which one commercial about little kid's love to her father made me comment that "Little kids are so nice, if you just love them they will do any thing for you", to which my wife commented "Isn't that true for everyone?".

I immediately realized that it is. We have forgotten to LOVE people because of our own complexes and insecurities; as we feel that if we love others i.e. show our affection or love to them like what we do with children, they will make it mean this and that, it will look strange or bad or good or so and so. Because of all this we all hold back our love to others.

I kept thinking about this incident during the day, it reminded me of another saying of a friend of mine, "I buy people cheap; I just be NICE to them and they generally they do any thing for me." Although the comment sounded a bit funny in the beginning, but has truth in it. If we are nice to people (just love them), they will do any thing for us. I have totally experienced this in life. How TRUE and so simple, but human beings are such complicated beings, that we forget simplests truths of life so easily.

Later when we were having our 'Valentine Lunch', that is I and my wife, the two some, as kids had other plans, I saw a 2 or 3 year old girl having lunch with her family. She was all dressed in Indian clothes with typical Indian make up (bindi etc.) [although Mom was wearing western clothes] and enjoying her lunch with innocent questions about restaurant food to her parents. Seeing her I realized that why it is so easy to love little children and not teens and adults is because of their innocence and purity. We all know that whatever they are saying and doing is what they are thinking and they do not have any complexes or grudges against us. This thought in our mind makes us love them fully without expecting any thing in return. This makes our love to them also pure and genuine.

It would be so wonderful, if we remove our judgements, opinions and ideas about others and just love them for who they are. Well that's where my relationship mantra of FORGIVENESS, TRUST, LOVE & PATIENCE comes in to play.

LOVE to all.

Patience requires TRUST, as Love requires FORGIVENESS

Well, yesterday and today I truly felt that in the 4 words Mantra on Relationship, there are relationships in two pair of them.

I have realized that Patience can not exist until you TRUST that all is well and 'Whatever happens, Happens for the Best'. If there is any deficit at TRUST front then patience will wear thin.

A similar sort of relationship exist between Love and FORGIVENESS, meaning if forgiveness is less than 100% then Love will not be total. And then relationship will not work.

Hence again I would like to reiterate that 4 words mantra of great relationship:

Foregiveness, Trust, Love and Patience will make every relationship perfect.

Also it need to practiced, realized and internalized; not just know and understand intellectually. Intellectual knowledge and understanding does not provide much to human beings, as I could know and understand what it may be like being a mother, but I would never feel or realize it, as I am a man and can never have a baby come out of my own body.

Patience, an essential virtue in life

"Patience is an essential virtue"
I have known this for several decades, yet I find it so hard to practice.

Also this is a fundamental of any great relationship; the fundamentals, which I have learnt myself.

Forgiveness, Trust, Love and Patience.

Earlier I had understood that these four were in that order of preference, but over the week end I have learnt that Patience is as important as Love.

I think, I need to apply these to self too i.e. I need to be patient with myself to practice it.