I am siting at home today and am wondering about solitude. My dear wife has gone for Meditation camp at Vipassana center of Illinois for 10 days, during which she has to keep perfect silence and meditate most of the waking hours. Hence this solitude is upon me and making me go through my own meditation exercise ;-).
I have enforced such solitary situations so many times upon my dear wife, when I travel for 2 or 3 weeks at times. I am amazed at how easily she takes it. And although I am coping with it all right, yet it is quite difficult emotionally. One always looks forward to going home to someone or wait for some one. This being alone after a days hard work is not new for me; as it happens quite regularly during my business visits. Yet the great part those days generally is that I am always able to speak to her from where ever in the world I am and just share my day with her. Not talking to your life partner for days is more draining than being alone, I guess.
It is for the second time in life after our marriage that I will not be talking to her for 11 full days, as she has done Vipassana 8 years back too. Yet at that time both the kids were with me and it was Holidays time around New Year. With kids around and party times, I guess we did not miss her much, and did not find time to think it through. Also now we are empty-nesters since both kids have gone to their respective colleges and the second one left over 1 1/2 years ago. So we have grown more fond of each other and also more emotionally dependent too, I think; at least I am.
Having said all the above I am also finding this solitude quite empowering. I am coming closer to my own self. The solitude allows one much more time to reflect upon things. It also makes one go through a kind of immense emotional hardship that if channeled properly flowers in to creativity. Like this blog post itself that I am writing after a good 5 months gap.
In conclusion, I am so grateful that I got this opportunity, thanks to my wife, as my creativity is rejuvenated. I am able to glimpse through deep inside myself, am practicing the ultimate reality that a human is solitary in his/her journey through life, where in s/he gets companions at different legs of the that life long journey. These companions join in at different stations and leave your company when their stations arrive. Hence it is imperative to know oneself deeply as you are truly the only companion you have. Like the Gurudev Rabindranath Thakur said "Ekala chalo re, bandhu........"
I have enforced such solitary situations so many times upon my dear wife, when I travel for 2 or 3 weeks at times. I am amazed at how easily she takes it. And although I am coping with it all right, yet it is quite difficult emotionally. One always looks forward to going home to someone or wait for some one. This being alone after a days hard work is not new for me; as it happens quite regularly during my business visits. Yet the great part those days generally is that I am always able to speak to her from where ever in the world I am and just share my day with her. Not talking to your life partner for days is more draining than being alone, I guess.
It is for the second time in life after our marriage that I will not be talking to her for 11 full days, as she has done Vipassana 8 years back too. Yet at that time both the kids were with me and it was Holidays time around New Year. With kids around and party times, I guess we did not miss her much, and did not find time to think it through. Also now we are empty-nesters since both kids have gone to their respective colleges and the second one left over 1 1/2 years ago. So we have grown more fond of each other and also more emotionally dependent too, I think; at least I am.
Having said all the above I am also finding this solitude quite empowering. I am coming closer to my own self. The solitude allows one much more time to reflect upon things. It also makes one go through a kind of immense emotional hardship that if channeled properly flowers in to creativity. Like this blog post itself that I am writing after a good 5 months gap.
In conclusion, I am so grateful that I got this opportunity, thanks to my wife, as my creativity is rejuvenated. I am able to glimpse through deep inside myself, am practicing the ultimate reality that a human is solitary in his/her journey through life, where in s/he gets companions at different legs of the that life long journey. These companions join in at different stations and leave your company when their stations arrive. Hence it is imperative to know oneself deeply as you are truly the only companion you have. Like the Gurudev Rabindranath Thakur said "Ekala chalo re, bandhu........"
