forgiveness and equanimity to handle self doubt and bad things happening to you

I am just not on my own today. Some thing has happened and I have doubted the truthfulness of it. When I tried to look for some evidence, I found them to be corroborating my doubt rather than the narrative told to me. This has made me really sad and has created a real unease in me. I am unable to sleep and do any thing else other than wallowing in self pity and worthlessness.

Although I have counselled many on such matters, as recently as 5 days ago, but when a doubting situation has arisen for me, I am unable to handle it. Is this my insecurity? Is it my doubting nature? Is it my giving disempowering meaning to what happens in life? What ever it is I am in real pain and unable to bear the thought of what I am making the incidents mean.

I am going to live from an empowering context and face the reality in the eye. I will further investigate and if all evidence are in the same directions then I must confront and ask the reality with the person. Living in a doubt will not be helpful to any one and living with that I will myself behave in strange manners and as a result create troubles for every one. So I must face it and then live in an empowering context. I should be worrying and sad myself, only if I have done some thing wrong. If others are doing wrong then it is their issue and not mine. They are the ones who will face consequences and not me. What ever is happening to me is caused by me i.e. is the result of my karmas.

I must stand for full belief in self and the theory of karma. And so even if my doubt is true then it is my karmas which are coming to fruition to provide me pain, others are just being catalyst in me having the pain. And I must be happy that bad karma are getting completed and now what I would do with the situation will create my future. So I must be equanimous with what ever is happening to me. Equanimity and forgiveness will bring peace to me for ever.

मैं और मेरी सोच

आज की ब्लॉग तो मैं हिन्दी में लिख रहा हूँ क्योंकि इस में मुझे बहुत आनंद आ रहा है। जीवन में शायद पहली बार अपनी बात इन्टरनेट पर अपनी भाषा व्यक्त कर पाने कि खुशी है।

मुझे निम्नलिखित चीज़ों पर बहुत गर्व है और हमेशा इनके उत्थान में प्रयासरत रहता हूँ और लगा रहूँगा।
मैं स्वयं, मेरा परिवार, मेरा धर्म - जैन धर्म, मेरी अपनाई भाषा - हिन्दी, मेरा शहर - नागपुर, मेरा पैत्रिक राज्य - मध्य प्रदेश, मेरा अपना देश - भारत, मेरा निवासी देश - अमेरिका, मेरा जगत और उसमे बसने वाले सभी जीव।

अगर आप पाएंगे कि मैंने हर एक के आगे मेरा लगाया है तो उसका कारण यह है कि मेरी समझ में जब तक हम किसी भी वस्तु को अपना नहीं समझते हम उसके प्रति अपनत्व नहीं रख सकते। और जिस वस्तु के प्रति हम अपनत्व रखते हैं केवल उसी की प्रगति में हम सतत प्रयासशील रह सकते हैं।

आज पहली बार हिन्दी में ब्लॉग लिखने का बढ़ा ही आनंद आया, पर आदत नहीं होने से कुछ थक गया हूँ। तो बस आज इतना ही।

Is it BAD or is it GOOD?

First of all, I must apologize for breaking my own resolution of writing the blog every single week. I recommitt myself to do so.

Well, today I got confronted by the day, as I kept hearing the 'bad' news one after the other almost entire day. Or so I thought. Towards the end I realized that the person who was saying these are the 'bad' news, is me. And if I can (or want to) 'see' them as 'good' news and say whatever happened today has been 'good', then I can. In fact while talking to my wife I realized this and then I turned around and starting 'seeing' them as good and they all turned out to be 'good' from another perspective. I also discussed this with my co-worker and we agreed that whatever happens to us, we are the ones who say it is good or bad, so why not say good to every thing whatever happens to us. That way, we keep feeling good and are empowered to work towards the solution, rather than focussing on the situation as the problem.

I also realized that this fact or concept been told to me or I have known for decades and even I myself coached many people about it, but to really implement in my own life, it really takes internalizing it like the incidents of today. So I resolve that whatever happens, I will always believe that it has happened for good. The key is in having the perspective from which it looks good.

जो होता है अच्छे के लिए ही होता है। शक्ति हमारी नजर में है कि हम उसे अच्छा देखें या बुरा। जय हो। । ।